Tuesday, December 28, 2010

My dad - The comedian

I think i was 14. This was the last time I let my backpack out of my sight.

Monday, December 27, 2010

Dear Mr Darcy

He went to value village and picked up pants dressed like this.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Epic Hampster

When I was around 6 years old me and my brother had a pet hamster. One weekend we went camping with our mother and came back to the sad news that our hamster had run away.

When I turned 15 my dad told me the true story.

My father worked a lot back then. It wasn't unusual for him to work 12+ hour days and it was a very physical job so sleep was very important. He was busy so my mother agreed to take my brother and me camping while he stayed at home on the weekend to do extra work.

One night our hamster - I cant remember his name so lets just call him 'Snuffies' - escaped. It must be a very scary thing to be sleeping in a bed and feel something crawling up your leg so I dont blame my father for his instinct of grabbing said 'crawly thing' and throwing it against the wall. After the initial shock wore off he realized 'shit, that was the hamster '

Snuffies was alive but stunned and my father, being too tired to really give a shit about a hamster, just put him back in the cage. This proved to be a mistake as once again, snuffies pulled a Houdini act and got out.

We must have had a very low security cage

My dad woke up to scurrying around and turned on the light to chase our rodent pet around the room. What happened next I can only assume is a thrilling chase with lots of gun fire and explosions ( if there were explosions please be assured that my father would slowly walk away from them with a pair of fucking bamf sunglasses and never look back. he is an action hero )

The chase concluded with Snuffies running behind the dresser, my father pulled out one end to reach in behind but because of how he pulled it out...the other end of the dresser went in.


I will give you one guess what was now pinned between the dresser and the wall...and I'll give you a hint: Its not Gary Busey.

I'm not sure what force my father pulled out the dresser but I assume it must have been strong since now he assumed this was the end for poor old snuffies. Again, I can't blame my father for being so tired and overworked that he just left the carcass of my poor pet smooshed up against the wallpaper and varnished wood of the dresser.

That was the second mistake of the night.

Me and my brother must have possessed excellent pet choosing abilities because we had adopted some sort of super human hamster, or super hamster hamster..., because once again snuffies was not dead and indeed had wiggled his way to freedom.

At this point my father was understandably frustrated at losing the battles and was determined to win the war. Sunffies had proved, against all odds, to be made of some sort of indestructible alloy..possibly titanium. Despite his lust for life he could not escape what his future now held.

The front door

Which my father promptly threw him out of.

'Snuffies' was a strong hamster and to this day I like to think he survived in the small patch of woods across the street...possibly breeding with a squirrel or chipmunk and raising a mighty clan that ravages the gardens all down the block.

The end.

First post

This blog will be filled with small musings and memories/stories that I find amusing. May be with or without image accompaniment.

damn these new fangled layouts. Now I need to figure out how to customize this shite.